CONTAGION
by Rainbow345uk
Summary: *Complete* A man is brought in from an MVA, but his visible injuries are just the tip of the Iceberg as the ER staff begin to fall desperately ill. PLEASE R & R
1. Default Chapter

CONTAGION  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own n e of the ER characters. Do u think I'd be here if I did? LoL :D Although the plot is a mastermind creation of my brain, and my brain only!  
  
Summary: A man is brought in from an MVA, but his visible injuries are just the tip of the iceberg, as the staff of the ER begin to fall ill.  
  
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The rain hits the road as though it's unstoppable. A man drives along a congested city road. The honking horns of the yellow cabs pierce through the night. Above the shrieking horns, the man's discomfort can be clearly heard. A constant coughing echoes around. He looks up and suddenly swerves across the road. The car coming down on the other side didn't stand a chance. A loud thud silenced the horns. The sound of twisting metal, and the screams of the victims, were the last thing to be heard.  
  
"What have we got" Kerry looks up as the ambulance pulls up outside county. The rain is still coming down hard. The flashing lights bounce of the walls of the surrounding buildings, draping the hospital in a flurry of colours.  
  
"36 year old male. Severe head and neck injuries, numerous broken ribs and other internal injuries. Intubated at scene, G.C.S is 9"  
  
"Ok lets get him into trauma one"  
  
Carter and Abby followed Weaver into Trauma one.  
  
"Abby, can you get a central line in, Carter we need a chest drain, Malik get in here now, we need a full set of blood works, and get 3 units of O-neg. stat." Malik draws a vile of blood and hurries away.  
  
"Got a line in" Abby calls out.  
  
"He's in V-fib"  
  
"Charge the paddles to 200" Kerry shouts, as she starts CPR.  
  
Carter hands the paddles to Kerry, "Clear" She presses down on the trigger and shoots the electric current through the body in front of her. The flat line tone still remains. Malik rushes back into Trauma one.  
  
"Got 3 units going in on the rapid infuser"  
  
"Ok, we need an amp of Epi" It has no effect.  
  
"He's still in V-fib"  
  
"How long has he been down?"  
  
Carter looks up at the clock, "40 minutes"  
  
Kerry steps back, "Every one agreed?" Nods come from around the room, "Time of death is 22:43"  
  
"Hey, Dr. Weaver?" Randi calls from behind the admit desk. Kerry turns around, "not now Randi, what ever it is, deal with it" She heads off down the corridor.  
  
Carter sits on the lounge sofa, looking far from well. Suddenly the door bursts open, and Malucci makes his normal `peaceful' entrance.  
  
"Hey Carter man, you ok?"  
  
"If that includes coughing up lunch, then I'm just fine"  
  
"Stay away from me man, I don't want any of your germs, I got me a hot date"  
  
"Don't kid yourself Dave"  
  
"You just wait and see"  
  
"Oh I will" Carter replied, his tone more sarcastic than ever.  
  
Dave grabbed his bag from his locker and left the lounge. Carter remained seated on the sofa. The coughing had become constant. He struggled to suck in air. His breathing became shallow. He felt his chest tighten, as the beating of his heart slowed. He gazed around the room, everything becoming a blur, and then he finally gave into the darkness.  
  
Kerry headed along the corridor, toward the admit desk. Randi was once again calling after her. Kerry's head throbbed with pain as Randi's harassing voice chased after her.  
  
"Randi, what is it?" Her tone was dull, with a hint of annoyance.  
  
"Some guy from the lab upstairs wanted you, he said there was something about the MVA guy that should you know, he wouldn't tell me what, so whatever it is, its probably important"  
  
Kerry walked over to the desk and picked up the phone. Kerry gave Randi a warning look. Randi turned away but still tried to focus in on the phone conversation that was taking place.  
  
"This Dr. Weaver, you needed to talk to me?. . . . . Yeah, he was brought in this morning. . . yeah I'm on my way up"  
  
She replaced the receiver and darted off to the lift.  
  
Luka headed toward the lounge, looking forward to escaping the sick and injured people needing his touch. Sometimes he wished he wasn't there, that he wasn't a doctor. But his passion for helping people always out weighed these feelings, and he would return to the hospital day in day out. He grabbed the handle, and pushed the door. His thoughts were broken in an instant at seeing the heaped body lying on the floor. Peering down at the face, the hint of its recognition sliced its way through Luka, "Carter!" He bent down next to his fallen colleague, checking for a pulse. The pounding on Luka's fingers was slow and faint, but steady. He rushed out of the lounge seeking help, shouting to anyone and everyone who would listen.  
  
To be continued. . . . . . . . . . .  
  
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Well everyone, that's the first part! Do u want me to continue? I will n e way, but feedback is always wanted. U can shout at me for a naff fic or give me all the praise u want, I don't mind! Part 2 comin soon. . . . 


	2. A harsh discovery

CONTAGION  
  
PART 2 - A harsh discovery  
  
"Hi, I'm Dr. Weaver from the ER. I'm here to see Dr. Monahan." Kerry stood at the reception desk on the 3^rd floor. She watched as the nurse picked up the phone and began dialling away. Her tone was hushed and hurried, an urgency that was not usually seen from nurses. Kerry wondered, what was so important? Usually she was ignored until she opened her mouth, bringing down her superiority on the nurses, which soon made them pay attention. But this was different. At the hearing of Kerry's name, the nurse dropped whatever she was doing and immediately started calling who ever it was who had beckoned Kerry there.  
  
The nurse replaced the receiver into its cradle, just as a tall, young doctor rounded the corner. Kerry guessed that this must be Dr. Monahan.  
  
"Dr. Weaver, if you would follow me" Monahan took off just as quickly has he had arrived. There were no introductions, no greetings, just the informal tone. She was led into the blood works lab, a place she rarely visited. If she ever needed any bloods done then she just had the results sent down, no meetings or conversations, even, between her and the technician.  
  
"Dr. Weaver this is Dr. Johnson from Public health." The two shook hands, "Lets cut the chase and get straight to the point. This morning a John Doe was brought in from an MVA right?"  
  
"Yeah, he didn't make it, he went into cardiac arrest in trauma, we couldn't get him back" Kerry relayed the information.  
  
"What, in your view, was the cause of that cardiac arrest?"  
  
"He suffered major trauma to the chest, along with other numerous injuries. His blood pressure rose abnormally high, resulting in extra strain on the heart. What has that got to do with his blood works?"  
  
"We found abnormal cells within his plasma, which may be responsible for the cardiac arrest."  
  
"You say abnormal cells? Does that mean you're not entirely sure what cells they are?" Kerry looked toward Dr. Monahan, but before he had a chance to reply, Johnson cut in.  
  
"The cell pattern shows evidence of a contagious virus"  
  
"Contagious?"  
  
"We're not completely sure how it spreads, but touch is a very plausible suggestion"  
  
"What exactly is this virus?"  
  
"That we're not sure of either. I've sent a sample to the Centre of Disease Control in New York, but that's going to take a few days"  
  
"A few days? We don't have a few days Dr. Johnson. This is a hospital, do you know how many could have been infected already?"  
  
"I understand that Dr. Weaver, but he only thing we can do at the moment is to find out who the John Doe was, and what symptoms he displayed. You get anymore cases then I suggest you treat the symptoms"  
  
"What about everyone who came in contact with him? You said that its probable that it's passed on through touch, that means the Doctors who worked on him could be infected, even I could be infected. What do you suppose I do about that?"  
  
"You should quarantine them, treat their symptoms if any present and send their blood works up here"  
  
Kerry opened her mouth to reply, but she was silenced by the humming song of her bleeper. She gazed down on the screen: EMERGANCY ER. She could never escape the ER.  
  
"I'm needed in the ER"  
  
"Dr. Weaver, I suggest that you don't go near anyone"  
  
"I'm the chief of the ER, how do you suppose I do that? You haven't got any thing concrete about this virus, and until you do, I'm willing to take my chances" She headed for the door.  
  
"Just remember that your taking everyone else's chances too"  
  
She stopped, her hand on the handle and took a deep breath. His words echoed around in her mind. She hadn't thought about it that way. But if she was going to stop work, then she would be risking more lives. She was the most experienced Doctor in the ER, the chief, the person everyone looks up to, her orders the ones that everyone obeyed, and now she was told that she was a risk to all of them, Doctors and Patients alike. She twisted the handle and headed down to the ER, unbeknown to what lie ahead. The concrete evidence that she so ignorantly asked for was a little closer to home.  
  
To Be Continued. . . . . . . . .  
  
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Well guys that's part 2, and I know ur gonna kill me coz I didn't put n e thing in there about Carter, but don't fear part 3 comin soon, promise!!! Keep those reviews rollin on in...  
  
Rainbow345uk 


	3. One dead, One critical and numerous infe...

COTNAGION - Part 3  
  
One dead, One critical and numerous infected  
  
The scene that she was greeted with was one of desperation. She pushed the doors to trauma one open, exposing it to the world. What she saw was something she couldn't believe. There in front of her was the devastating truth, nothing that she could deny. For a moment she stood there in her own world, trying not to realise what was in front of her.  
  
"What happened?" She managed to push the few words out of her. She could feel her voice getting trapped in her voice box, something inside her refusing to let it out.  
  
Luka turned to face her, "Found him collapsed in the lounge, he suffered an MI" A Myocardial Infarction, the posh name for a heart attack. As the words pierced back into Kerry's world, she was forced out of it, back into the harsh reality. She knew that it had to be the virus; there wasn't really any other explanation. Carter was young and fit, he looked after himself, and it would be highly improbable for him to suffer a heart attack in those circumstances. And then there was the fact that he was one of the Doctors treating the John Doe this morning. Kerry glanced around the room, and decided on a radical plan of action, but she knew that it was what she had to do to minimise the outbreak.  
  
"Luka get out of here now" She screamed at him, hoping he wouldn't retaliate, but she knew, deep down, that he would. He wouldn't just leave a dying a colleague.  
  
"What?" He looked up in disbelief, this was not a time to pull rank on another Doctor, especially considering who it was they were treating.  
  
"Get out of here before it's too late" Abby and Malik glanced up at Kerry, along with Luka, "I don't have time to explain, just leave now"  
  
"Fine" He tore of his trauma gown and stormed out.  
  
"Kerry what's this all about?" Abby questioned.  
  
"This isn't the time or place to explain, what are his vitals?"  
  
"B.P is 100 over 50, pulse ox is 82"  
  
"We're losing him, I'm going to have to intubate" She slowly inserted the tube into Carter's mouth and down his throat. "Get an amp of epi, and 10 mg of Lidocain." The battle between life and death continues.  
  
Abby glances over at the numerous machines that Carter is hooked up to, "Pressure is 90 systolic, pulse is up to 92" The heart monitor starts to display a regular beat.  
  
"He's stable" Kerry calls much to her relief, but she knows the battle isn't over, that this is just the beginning.  
  
"But critical" Abby added. She peered down at the lifeless body in front of her. She couldn't believe that behind all the wires, all the tubes, was her friend. This was the second time she'd seen him in this state. He didn't deserve it.  
  
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0x08 graphic  
Short part I know, but don't worry Part 4 will be here soon, and hopefully a little longer. Keep those reviews coming in, or maybe the story might just disappear. . . . ( Only joking !! )  
  
Rainbow345uk 


	4. Thrown into uncertainty

THROWN INTO UNCERTAINTY  
  
Part - 4  
  
The atmosphere in trauma one was one that was indescribable. Abby was sat in the far corner, her back against the wall, apparently staring into thin air, well that was what it looked like. Malik was busying himself with the many monitors that were hooked up to Carter. And then there was Kerry, stood by the doors, staring out into the reception area. There must have been at least a hundred people, patients, doctors, nurses and other people of importance wandering around. Abby and Malik were confined to trauma one, under Kerry's orders. It was like being in prison, only they did not know what their crime was. Kerry hadn't told them yet. They were just told that they needed to remain in trauma one. A bizarre request. They tried to get their heads around her little outburst with Luka. Why did he need to get out before it was too late?  
  
Kerry forced her attention back to her colleagues. She couldn't help but look upon them as though they had the virus. But then again she too could have that virus. She had been in as much contact with the John Doe as they had been. She turned, her decision to let them in on the harsh discovery, one that needed to remain between them until it was all confirmed. But first she needed to get the guy from Public health down here. They all needed to be tested. She pushed the doors slightly open and called for Randi. She managed to catch her attention immediately, something that was rare with Randi. She came hurrying over. Everyone had noticed that Kerry, Malik and Abby had all remained in trauma one, and rumours were quickly spreading about Luka leaving.  
  
"What is it? Is Carter alright?" The desperation, for the first time, apparent in her voice. She knew by the urgency of the call upstairs that something serious was going on.  
  
"He's stable, but critical. I need you to get me the phone" Without hesitation, Randi was gone within a matter of seconds and back just as fast. She went to hand the phone to Kerry, but Kerry took a step back.  
  
"Best if you put it on the floor" she said calmly. Randi stood there for what seemed like hours, "No questions Randi, just put it on the floor" Randi placed the receiver on the floor. Kerry picked it up and closed the door. Both Malik and Abby were startled at her requests to Randi. This gave them their first insight into what was going on, but no one dare say it. They couldn't just make a guess on a simple action, instead they waited for confirmation from their superior.  
  
Kerry dialled a number in the receiver, and placed it to her ear.  
  
"This is Dr. Weaver, I need to speak with Dr. Johnson immediately. . . .Dr. Johnson? . . . . It looks we have another case . . . I need you down here now" She hung up.  
  
"Kerry? What's going on?" Abby plucked up the courage to ask.  
  
"The MVA man who came in this morning was infected with some sort of contagious virus. We're not sure what yet, and we don't know for sure any conclusive information about it. We don't know how long it takes to become active, or how we prevent it, or how to treat it. All we can do is treat the symptoms. One of which looks sure to be Cardiac arrest. You and Malik worked on the John Doe this morning and so did Carter. That makes you liable. And me"  
  
They stood in silence.  
  
"How long will it take for the result to come back?" Abby asked as a doctor wearing numerous pairs of gloves and a special suit, took blood from her. His voice as muffled through the air vent in the front of his mask, but she could just make out what he was saying.  
  
"We'll try and rush it through. At the most it should take about an hour" That was it. The cold, hard, truth. In one hour, her fate would be decided. Would she end up like Carter or be safe, and only have to look on at her fallen colleague?  
  
The doctors in the deathly white suits left. It was a scene from many thrillers. Someone infected with a virus and then it spread everywhere and anywhere it could get. And then there were the scenes where the hero would be dressed in full protective gear, discovering the cure and saving the day. But was there a hero in this film?  
  
Kerry headed over to Abby.  
  
"Is there any new information?"  
  
"Well from the fact that Carter treated the John Doe this morning and now he's infected with the virus means that the activation time is somewhere in the region of 8 or 9 hours. Public health are nowhere near finding out the identity of the John Doe, which means we can't trace where the virus originated from. There could be hundreds of people out there, perfectly well now, but in 8 hours near dead."  
  
Abby sat, staring for a moment, "And then there's us" Her words bounced around. Again there was the truth. They could be 2 of those hundred people. Unaware of what fate they will come to. Thrown into the uncertainty of a deadly virus.  
  
The movements of the hazmat teams were discreet. The last thing that they needed now was for a leak. There would be mass panic throughout the hospital. Then the media would get hold of it. Panic would spread throughout Chicago and may be further afield.  
  
To be continued . . .  
  
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That's part 4 as promised. Hope u enjoyed it. Part 5 will be here soon, just give me those reviews! U no u want to . . . (lol )  
  
Rainbow345uk 


	5. Another victim, Another death

Another victim, Another death  
  
Part - 5  
  
Abby stared out of trauma one and over to chairs. Patient numbers were steadily increasing. She took a quick glance at the clock, the second hand slowly making its way round the 360o journey. It read 8:02. She glared back over to chairs. She had been imprisoned in this room for over 8 hours. Hazmat had been in and out, carrying out various tests. They never once failed to seal the door behind them. Her and Kerry's only means of communication with the outside world had been the phone that Kerry requested. She watched intently as people came into and left the ER. Each one could be infected and now passing it on. That thought was unbearable.  
  
She turned to Kerry, "Shouldn't the ER be shut down?"  
  
Kerry took a moment to reply. She knew that the answer should be yes, and indeed it should be shut right now, but there was always an excuse thought up by someone upstairs to why the ER should remain open.  
  
"Yes," She replied. Abby took the inquiry no further. She knew that Kerry's tone of voice said not to even think about asking why.  
  
The whining of the phone shattered the agonizing atmosphere. Kerry hobbled over to the trauma cart and picked up the receiver. She hesitated a moment before answering.  
  
"Yeah? . .What? . . Where's Hazmat? . . There's no time for that, just break the seal on the door . . If you don't she's going to die"  
  
Kerry's voice was hurried and desperate.  
  
"Kerry?" Abby gave her full attention to Kerry.  
  
"Randi collapsed" She paused.  
  
"The virus?"  
  
"They don't know. Hazmat have disappeared somewhere and if we don't treat her now she's going to die. We're the only 2 people . ." She trailed off.  
  
"But we might be in the clear" Again they were tossed into uncertainty.  
  
"And we might not" The professional decisions had been throw out the window. It came down to moral issues now. They were the only two people who could be infected with the virus, the only two people with a smaller risk of exposure. They could save themselves, and hope that they weren't infected, or risk their lives to save another.  
  
"Kerry, we've been in here for over 8 hours. You said that the activation time was between 8 and 9 hours, so how come we're still here if we're infected" That was a good question, but the fact remained that someone was dying.  
  
"That was speculation, Abby. It could be anything. We don't really know anything about this virus."  
  
Abby considered her reply. It was all too true. It may have been something that she didn't want to believe, but the fact still remained, they didn't really know anything at all.  
  
"Are you going to help me or not?" Kerry asked as she headed over to the door. Malik was on the outside breaking through the seal.  
  
How could Abby answer that? It was an impossible decision. She was bound by oath to help people, but was even when your own life was in danger? But then was her life really in danger? She could already be infected. She stared into Kerry's eyes, just as the door swung open. There was a brief pause and then she ran out into reception, followed by Kerry.  
  
X ~ x ~ X  
  
  
  
"Kerry! I can't find a pulse" Abby knelt over Randi behind the admit. Desk.  
  
"We need to get her into trauma one now!" Kerry yelled, "Malik get a gurney"  
  
Malik rushed off down the corridor. A crowd had gathered around the Admit. Desk, patients and Doctors alike.  
  
"She needs bagging, Abby start chest compressions" Everything seemed surreal. 24 hours ago everything was fine, and now . . . and now it wasn't. Malik returned with a gurney, and they hurried into trauma one. Abby and Kerry the only two medics to go past the deathly 'no go' point. They hooked her up to numerous machines, but the one that stood out the most was the heart monitor. The flat line running across the screen was all too familiar. The droning that rang out became monotonous. They were running out of options and fast.  
  
"We're going to have to intubate" Abby handed Kerry the tube. Randi was hooked up to a ventilator in no time.  
  
"There's still no output"  
  
"Charge the paddles to 200" Again Kerry went through the routine of shocking another patient, but these were no ordinary circumstances.  
  
"Still in V-fib"  
  
"Come on Randi, don't take the easy way out" Kerry placed the paddles once again on Randi's chest, and shocked her.  
  
The minute hand continued its journey. Slowly ticking away. Kerry continued to shock her, but each time there was no change to her condition. She placed the paddles back in their cradle and then glanced over to Abby. They locked eye contact. The sadness was all too evident. Kerry broke away and headed over to the droning machine and slowly switched it off. The silence that followed was suffocating. Another life had been claimed.  
  
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Well guys, that's part 5, sorry its been so long, been kinda busy. But hang in there, part 6 will be here faster! Promise. Thanx for all those reviews! Just give me more! Lol.  
  
Rainbow345uk 


	6. Another test and even more uncertainty

Another test, even more uncertainty  
  
Part - 6  
  
Hazmat had finally turned up. But they were greeted with hostility. News of Randi's death had spread throughout the hospital, and they placed the blame on Hazmat. They had turned up too late, and they knew it. The sadness gripped everyone. Everyone went about their business is silence. An eerie silence. It was worse at the admit. Desk. No one dare speak a word. Patients began to complain about the long waiting times. At the front of those complaints was Mark. He dealt with them calmly and swiftly, not once raising his voice. He kept his dignity. Hazmat kept wandering around, although not wearing there contamination suits. They didn't want the mass hysteria. They kept asking questions, over and over, not getting the fact that no one knew the answers. Had Randi come in contact with any patients or staff? The answer was most likely no. That just added to the already burning atmosphere of fear. If she hadn't come in contact with any of the patients or staff, then how did she pick up the virus? It shed a whole new darkness on the already deathly situation. It meant that even if you didn't come in contact with anyone who was infected, you could still pick the virus up form somewhere. And the frightening thing was that no one knew where that somewhere was.  
  
Hazmat had made there way into trauma one. They had already tended to Randi's body. It had been placed in a white body bag. It was a scene that Kerry and Abby had seen many times. But that didn't mean that they ever got used to it. Especially considering their patient. Kerry knew that something had to be done, and just as she reached for the phone, Johnson walked in, kitted out in a hazmat suit. All eyes stared in his direction.  
  
"Your tests came back negative, but that's irrelevant now. You have come in contact with another victim. You're going to have to be tested again." He said calmly.  
  
Abby turned away. Kerry shifted her gaze from Johnson to Abby and then back to Johnson.  
  
"Is there anymore information about this virus?"  
  
"The police are working on the identity of the John Doe. They searched his car, and it's not good news" Abby turned and faced him, his words catching her attention. "They found a plane ticket. It looks like he just got back form South Africa. The symptoms of this virus match none that are on the database. That means that there are no known vaccinations or cures." He paused for a moment. "The assumption that the activation time was around 8 hours does not exist anymore, because the truth is it's too early to say. It took 8 hours in the Doctor, we presume about 5 hours in the . . ." He trailed off. "The point is that we just don't know"  
  
"If you don't know, why isn't the ER shut down? We're risking more lives. The more people who walk in are taking the virus out into the city" That shut him up. He didn't have an answer to reply with. He shifted off the subject.  
  
"We need to get you two tested again."  
  
Those words seemed to bounce of every wall and echo around forever. That was easier said for him. He didn't have to go through the agonizing wait for the test results. Again. Again they were thrown back into uncertainty.  
  
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I know it's short, but I'm suffering writers block. sob sob. But don't worry, part 7 will be here soon. U got n e ideas on what u want to happen next just put 'em in a review and I'll see what I can do. :)  
  
Rainbow345uk 


	7. Tragic Results

1 Tragic Results  
  
Part - 8  
  
2  
  
3 ABBY  
  
I've stood in trauma one for over nine and a half hours. I have nothing to do but gaze out into chairs. Kerry has hardly said a word since we got our first test results. I assumed she felt guilty. She persuaded me to help Randi even after I protested that we might be in the clear. But it was not her decision to make. It was mine and I made it. I took the risk. I'm bound by an oath to help people, so that's what I did. But I can't bare the waiting. They came and took blood about an hour and half ago. But deep down I already know the results. Or at least I think I do. I suppose I still hold on to the hope that I am wrong. But that hope is slowly being extinguished. It's like a candle that's being starved of oxygen.  
  
Hazmat came back about 15 minutes after taking blood. They linked the virus to a small outbreak in South Africa, about 3 years ago. The information was all there, they just had to know what to look for it. They told us that the virus here seems to be a stronger strain. That leaves me hanging by the finest of threads. And then there is the fact that they still haven't found a vaccine or cure. But then I could be wrong. God I hope I'm wrong. Some people say that if you wish hard enough you can make things happen. I don't think there is anyone wishing harder than me. But I don't think I can wish away this pain. My muscles are aching more than I let on. I just want to let them give up. Let me fall to the floor. But if I do that I would have given in, would have lost the hope that still remains.  
  
If I gave up now, I know Kerry would come and help me. That's something of a comfort, knowing that there is someone willing to risk their life to save another. But I couldn't let that happen. I stand in the far corner of the room. She must think I'm avoiding her. But she'll soon know I'm not. The pain is starting to intensify, although I hide the tears. I'm not one to give up that easily. The pain could just be fatigue. After all I've been in here for over 10 hours now. Cut off from the outside world. But I'm a nurse. I know I'm clutching at very loose straws. I peer up at the clock. The hands display  
  
10:23. This day seems as though it isn't going to end. But deep down I know that as it draws to a close, so does my life.  
  
Hazmat came crashing through the doors. I've lost count of how many times they have been and gone. But this time it's different. The reason they have come is to unravel my fate. To tell us the results of the tests. The fear inside me grows, along with the pain. I can feel my stomach twist and turn at the inevitable thought. I draw the conclusion that one of us must be infected. They are wearing contamination suits. If we were in the clear, then they wouldn't be afraid to come near us without protection. They headed straight for Kerry. They ignored me as if I wasn't there. They had a quiet word with her, and then escorted her out. As she left, she turned and we locked eye contact. There was only one thing that this could mean. I closed my eyes. My worst fears had just been confirmed. The dying candle of hope that burned within me, had finally been extinguished.  
  
At that moment I saw my life flash before me. They say that you see that when you are about to die. And unless anything changed, that was to be my fate. I could drop dead at any moment, and there would be nothing that anyone could do. I had already seen Carter fall victim. We had managed to bring him back, but he was still critical. And then there was Randi. No one even knew how she became infected, no one knew how long she had been ill. And this was all part of my fate.  
  
All I can think about is my life. All the mistakes I made. I was unable to forgive my mother, and now I may never. I became an alcoholic, got married and divorced, had an abortion and have numerous failed relationships. I should be thinking about all the good things I got out of life, but weighing them up with my mistakes makes a big difference. If there is one lesson that I have learnt, it is to forgive and forget. But now it's too late. I didn't wish hard enough. I release all the emotion, all the pain. Tears streaming down my face. The pain was unmistakable. There was no way that it could fatigue. I knew that. A crushing pain suddenly shoots through my chest. The pain is unbearable. I finally give in. I sink to the floor. The cold sends shivers through my spine, but I'm not awake long enough to register the realisation of what's happening. I feel the walls closing in on me, and then suddenly the light is stolen, and I am plunged into darkness.  
  
4 KERRY  
  
I couldn't believe what was happening. Our test results came back negative. I made my own decision to help Randi, to risk my life. But I forced Abby to help me. It wasn't my decision to make, but I made it for her. I put her in a position that was asking too much. And now we're here waiting. Again. I look up at the clock. The dial displays 10:19. It's been almost 11 hours since all this started. And in those slow, short 11 hours, one person is critical, two are dead, and many are infected. And then there is us two. I got up this morning, came to work as normal. Nothing was different to usual. Malucci had arrived late, some feeble excuse that someone had stolen his bike. Everything had been slow. A few minors, that was all. Then the MVA. I thought nothing of it. It was just another day, just another accident. It's strange how things can change in an instant.  
  
I gaze over to Abby. She hasn't said a word to me since out first test result come back. She must blame me, but for that I can't blame her. If only I hadn't put her in that position. I suppose this is guilt. But that's what I deserve. I put her life in jeopardy.  
  
It feels like we have been in here forever. The day has gone so slow. There's nothing worst than waiting for the results of a test. But this isn't just the simple test where something is diagnosed and treated. This was a test that would unravel dire consequences if found positive. That was all too evident. Two people had died within the 11 hours of the threat. We could be next. I could be next. That's the horrible realisation. This isn't a movie, it's real. The fate of us all isn't written down in a script, it lies within the unknown.  
  
The sound of the doors opening draws my attention. Dr. Johnson enters, followed by a colleague. They're wearing contamination suits. This is not a good sign. I close my eye's wishing it all away. Wishing I was in a dream that I could wake myself from. I open them. Everything is the same. The men are still heading in. They seem to be heading straight for me. I can feel my heart speed up, I'm sure it missed a few beats. Dr. Johnson places a hand on my shoulder and quietly tells me that I'm in the clear. The feelings that run through me are indescribable. Until they tell me about Abby. They say that I have to leave immediately. The relief that was rapidly making its way through me suddenly changed to anguish. How could this be happening? I wanted to protest, I wanted to stay. But those feelings were suppressed by the fact that I would be risking my life, and I'm sure that my luck is running out. I let them lead me out, but before I left the ill – fated trauma one I turned and locked eyes with Abby. She knew. I saw the sadness, the despair, in the deep, dark crevices of her eyes. Not more than 12 hours ago they were filled happiness, filled with life. Now, now they are empty. Johnson gently tugged at me, indicating that we needed to leave. I broke eye contact and walked away.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Well, I decided to take a different approach. There will be more views on the events from different characters soon, I know that one will be Mark, not sure on the others. Hope u liked it tho, part 8 will be soon, and there will be summut about Carter in it. Whether there is n e thing about Abby in it I don't know, u'll just have to wait to find out what happens!!!!! : ) Thanx for reading!  
  
Rainbow345uk 


	8. Admitting Guilt

Admitting Guilt Part - 8  
  
The ER had finally been shut down, although patient numbers were still high. Those not infected were being moved to Mercy and North western. So far 57 patients within the hospital had contracted the virus, 14 from outside, and 5 Doctors, 2 nurses and Randi. Out of those 79 cases, 22 people had died, including the John Doe and Randi. And time was running out fast, the virus had began to affect internal organs within hours of first contracting the virus and at this present moment it looked as though it would never stop.  
  
Mark had managed to gather as many of the Doctors and Nurses around the admit. Desk as possible, and the area wasn't exactly crowded as usual. The virus had made them short staffed, something that wasn't good in these situations. "Dr. Carter has regained consciousness in the ICU and is off the ventilator" A small sign of relief echoed throughout the small gathering. "But there is bad news" The tone of his voice immediately changed, "Dr. Malucci collapsed while taking a patient up to surgery. His condition is critical and deteriorating" He didn't know what else to say. What could you say in this situation? He had just told them that one of their colleagues was dying. At that moment, Kerry walked over and stood by his side. The chattering between the staff silenced, and they all looked towards her, waiting for her to say something. She was the chief of the ER, the person that everyone looked to for instructions. She looked around at everyone's faces. The dark rings all too noticeable around everyone's eyes, marking the exhaustion that everyone felt. Exhaustion that was both physical and emotional. Not only were they having to deal with patients unknown to them, they had to deal with their own, their friends and colleagues.  
  
That was what hurt the most. Seeing people you care about lying unconscious, dying, and you're powerless to help. Kerry looked towards the lounge, as the click of the door closing attracted her attention. It was Luka. He glanced at her, locking eye contact for a few seconds. She turned back to the gathering of staff in front of her, and broke the news that he didn't want to hear. "Abby is also infected with the virus." At that moment it felt like his heart had been torn out. Although they weren't together any more, there was still a place inside him that held her dearly. He closed his eyes, begging that it wasn't true, but there was no way he could force himself out of this reality and into another, where none of this would ever happen. "Although she is infected, she hasn't shown any signs of the virus. She is still conscious. Hazmat are going to take her up to the quarantine ward and monitor her closely. We still don't have that much information about how this virus attacks the body, or how we can treat it or prevent it" Kerry relayed the information to her staff, and she could see the fear that it portrayed into the eyes of every one of them. There was a short pause before Mark took over. "We still don't know how this virus even gets into the body, the CDC are working on that. But as for the cases that we have seen, the outlook doesn't look good. Randi went nowhere near the John Doe this morning. And as for the virus itself. . " He paused briefly and then continued "From what we have seen, it effects the body within hours of it being contracted. Dr. Carter collapsed around 9 hours of first coming in contact with the source. No one knows how long it was with Randi, but the guess is that it was a much shorter time. As soon as HAZMAT give you the all clear, you can leave the ER, although volunteers are needed upstairs to cope with the short staffing." And with that the small crowd of staff broke up, some of them heading upstairs, having already received their results, while others patiently waited in chairs for HAZMAT to come back with theirs.  
  
Kerry stared towards trauma one, the now ill - fated trauma one. How she would ever be able to face Abby again she didn't know. But then she didn't even know if she would ever see her again. The way that this virus was going it looked as though there wasn't a hope of saving anyone infected with it. And that meant that her decision to help Randi, and forcing it upon Abby to make it her duty to help too, could prove to be a fatal one. Somehow she had escaped the clutches of this virus, escaped what she saw as the clutches of death.  
  
She glanced up towards the clock. It was just past midnight. She hadn't slept in the past 24 hours, but that was irrelevant now. Tiredness didn't seem to matter. The ringing of the phone broke harshly into her deep thoughts. She turned and walked behind the admit. Desk and picked up the receiver. "ER. Dr. Weaver?" She calmly answered. "This is Dr. Johnson. We've had some tests results back on the virus. As far as we can tell it isn't airborne, but to confirm that we're going to have to send samples off to the lab in New York and that's going to take a while. The most likely way of spreading this virus is through skin contact. We looked into the virus that broke out in South Africa, if this virus is the same strain and type, then it can also be passed on through blood to blood contact and through blood to skin contact." "But that doesn't explain how Randi got the virus?" Kerry questioned. There was a pause before Dr. Johnson continued. "It can also be passed on indirectly. Meaning that if an infected person touches and object, and then someone else touches it, they become infected too."  
  
Kerry closed her eyes. The nightmare was getting worse. If it was airborne it would be a lot easier to contain. The area could be cordoned off and everyone evacuated, but this put a whole new spin on the situation. If an infected person touched a door handle, it would mean than many more people would become infected through that simple action. The virus would be carried outside and passed on through other objects, such as the handrail on the stairwell leading to the El. Hundreds of people travelled by the El to work every day. That one person who touched the rail would be unknowingly killing hundreds of others. And those hundreds of others would be killing thousands more, by what they would consider to be normal. "You'd better hurry and get someone down here, we still have an infected nurse in trauma one. She needs to be up on the quarantine ward" "We're working as fast as we can, someone will be down soon. In the mean time I suggest that no one goes near miss Lockhart, or even ventures into that room" "And what if her condition deteriorates? Do we just leave her?" Dr. Johnson didn't know how to reply to that one. Instead he just repeated his words, reinforcing his previous statement. "Someone will be there soon. Just remember that if anyone goes into that room, their risking not only their lives but others as well" Kerry replaced the receiver in its cradle. She paused for a brief moment, and then headed towards Mark, to update him on the situation.  
  
"HAZMAT are going to be here soon" They peered towards trauma one. Kerry informed Mark of the latest developments. Her tone of voice was one that conveyed sadness, but which still kept its calm and authoritative manner. "I need to talk to Luka. Can you check on Abby?" Kerry asked. "Yeah sure" Mark replied as Kerry headed of into the lounge. She stood at the door, her hand on the handle. She paused and took a deep breath before opening the door slowly. Luka was stood at the window, glaring out into the ambulance bay, his back to Kerry. She gently closed the door behind her. "Luka? . ." There was no reply, instead there was just silence. "Luka, I'm sorry" She didn't know what else to say. She was the cause of his heartache and she knew it. "Sorry for what Kerry?" He turned to face her. His response had taken her by surprise, she had expected him to be upset with her, but instead his voice was calm, and although it portrayed sadness which there was no way of hiding, it was not filled with a sadness that was directed at her. Kerry took her time in replying, staring at the ground. Although the guilt played on her mind constantly, she found it hard to admit. She lifted her gaze, and met Luka's eyes, searching inside her for the right words. "It's my fault that Abby is in the condition that she is. If I hadn't . . ." She paused for a brief moment, before seeking the courage to finally admit what she so desperately didn't want to be true. "If I hadn't pressurised Abby into helping me work on Randi, then she would be in the clear" Luka didn't break eye contact as he calmly replied, trying to reassure Kerry that she didn't do anything wrong. "You don't know that Kerry, she could have been infected even before she helped Randi" "I do" Kerry broke eye contact, returning her gaze back to the floor, and then continued, "Her first blood test came back negative, Luka, she was in the clear before we worked on Randi" She had finally admitted her guilt. Silence now engulfed the room, and the atmosphere was climbing to new heights of tension, anxiety and heartache, that was all about to come crashing down. The door to the lounge flung open, with Mark making a desperate entrance. Both Luka's and Kerry's gaze shifted immediately to their colleague, the expression on his face mixed with one of concern, sadness and the one that stood out most: Fear  
  
Sorry everyone for the long wait!! : ) I had a loada exams to do and now im movin house on Friday! Well I hope that was well worth the wait and hope u guys out there still wanted me to continue!! Please review, all comments wanted!!! Part 9 will be here soon, I promise!! Hope u enjoyed it!  
  
XXX Rainbow345uk XXX  
  
P.S: You still want me to continue??? 


	9. Hell On Earth

Hell On Earth  
  
Part - 9  
  
  
  
  
  
MARK  
  
This day went from bad to worse. Just as things started to get better they careered totally off the right path and down the wrong one. One minute there was hope of the nightmare ending, but the next it faded into the darkness that had become the ER. We were supposed to be doctors, supposed to be able to treat people for their injuries and illnesses, but everyone who has come into the ER today has ended up worse off than they were before. People look to us for answers to their medical problems, and most of time we can make a quick diagnosis, and provide treatment. But today everything has changed. We can only make the diagnosis, not provide the treatment that so many of our patients so desperately need, that our colleagues and friends so desperately need. Today has been one of the worst days I have ever encountered in my medical career, and not just the medical side of it. I am used to telling people about the condition of their loved ones, giving them some reassurance by backing it up with my medical knowledge. I have even had to tell people that their loved ones have succumb to their worst fears: death. But today, the most difficult part of telling relatives was not that their loved ones had died, but that we didn't really know why or how this virus took over the body. All we could do was tell them of the symptoms, we couldn't use our medical knowledge to its full extent, because we just didn't know and we still don't. And then we had to tell them that there was no way of treating this virus, we could only treat the symptoms. But when our colleagues and friends fell to this virus, to this silent grim reaper, we found out how hard it was to accept the truth.  
  
I look down at my watch, and take careful note of the time. Since this all started time has become the enemy. As it goes by, the condition of those infected deteriorates, effectively counting down their lives until the inevitable happens. We are still no closer to finding a treatment that will eradicate this virus from the body. As it continues to attack at an alarming rate, it claims more and more lives.  
  
I thought that the most difficult part of the day was over when I had to deliver the news that Dr. Malucci had become the next victim. He's critical, but stable. I thought that that was the worst of it over, but I couldn't have been more wrong. Kerry had made her way over to the admit. Desk and stood by my side. I came to the obvious conclusion that somehow she had escaped the jaws of a predestined demise. I also concluded that this nightmare was nowhere near over, as Abby was nowhere to be seen. And Kerry's speech confirmed this. Guilt was evident in her voice, there was no way that she could hide it. As she delivered her news, I could see a little part of everyone disappear. Down here in the ER we all work as a team to save peoples lives, and the friendships that have been struck up through that partnership are deep and meaningful. When something happens to one of your team, something happens to you too, although it's not physical, it's emotional, and that can take its toll in itself. Already three of our team had been struck down. First Carter, then Malucci, now Abby. Who'll be next? It's the question on everyone's minds, and no matter who it is in the ER, it is sure to chip further away at the lives of every one of us.  
  
The information that HAZMAT had given us on this virus seemed to be inconclusive. They had told us that it would appear that this virus was not airborne and that it was most likely to be passed on by contact. But then they told us that that wasn't conclusive. It could be airborne but most likely not. I wasn't about to risk my life on that assumption unless absolutely necessary. Kerry however, had different ideas. Her guilt had obviously had an enormous effect on her.  
  
After receiving the information via a phone call, and then relaying it to me, she asked me to go and check on Abby, while she headed of to the lounge. I watched as she briefly paused at the door, her hand on the handle and ready to turn. I could feel the immense sadness; guilt and fear that radiated from her, as she slowly disappeared through the entrance. At that moment I turned and headed toward trauma one. As Kerry admitted her feelings of guilt to Luka, I was admitting the fear that was slowly tearing through me. We had already lost so many people to this virus, I was silently praying inside me that I wasn't about to discover another victim.  
  
She was supposed to be up on the quarantine ward, but HAZMAT had never turned up. As I slowly got closer to trauma one, my view inside slowly got clearer. I peered through the glass. The sight that I saw finally allowed the fear to boil over and become intense. There is only so much emotion a person can take. At seeing another colleague fall victim, and being unable to help, I finally felt the first cracks appearing in the protective barrier that I had put up. It had allowed me to become detached from a situation, especially when the person you are treating is a member of your team, someone that you see day in day out. I stood there in a daze for a moment, before at last I let the doctor in me take over.  
  
There wasn't that many people around in the ER. Everyone had either left the hospital or were upstairs helping out on the other wards. Susan had come down from the quarantine ward, to update us all on the conditions of Carter and Malucci. I quickly told her the situation, and she hurried off to get the protective gear that HAZMAT had left behind in case of emergencies. Although it was still against their advice to go and help. But there was no way that any of us were going to leave a colleague, a friend to die in this way. We had to at least try and help. I headed to the lounge, where I knew that the news I was about to tell would increase the already emotionally charge atmosphere.  
  
Kerry was the first one out of the lounge and into trauma one, closely followed by Luka. Luka, however, was easier to hold back. I begged Kerry to put on the protective facemask and gloves, but she just ignored me. I guess that was out of desperation.  
  
We all rushed into trauma one behind her and gently lifted Abby onto a gurney. We tried everything that we could, but her condition just deteriorated, falling into the critical category. Her condition is much worse than those of Carter and Malucci. And again the time period in which the virus takes hold is getting shorter.  
  
We hooked her up to all the monitors, all of them giving reason for serious concern. Her heartbeat was non-existent, along with her breathing. Deep down we all knew that the outlook was bleak, but then none of us wanted to admit that, especially Kerry. We should have pronounced her after the first half hour of our desperate attempts to revive her, and that was something else that we all knew. But again none of us wanted to admit that, so we didn't. We just kept going, trying everything that we could think of.  
  
  
  
We finally got her back after battling for an hour. None of us were in the emotional state to cope with losing another, and as soon as the heartbeat began to register on the monitor, the high emotions began to ease, but not totally disappear. At the moment, she is highly dependant on the ventilator, and her vital organs are continuing to shut down, but as long as there is a heartbeat, there is a small sign of relief, a small sign of hope.  
  
As soon as we had her heartbeat back, we alerted HAZMAT. But this time they were quick to respond. They quarantined trauma one again, deciding that it was safer to keep Abby where she was as her condition was not stable enough to move her. And despite a number of protests, Kerry remained by her side. HAZMAT had wanted to move Kerry upstairs, where, if she hadn't caught the virus, the risk would be considerably lower, but she refused to leave, again showing the guilt that was taking over.  
  
Susan headed upstairs, she wanted to check on Carter and Malucci again, and no doubt deliver the bad news to Carter. I stayed here in the ER though, I didn't have the energy let alone the emotional strength to leave. Instead I sat in chairs. The area was practically deserted, apart from the HAZMAT guys wondering around. All the patients in the ER had been transferred either up to the quarantine wards, or to Northwestern, if they weren't infected. The scene in here is very different from that outside. I glance out into the ambulance bay through the emergency doors, and all I can see is chaos. The place is illuminated by the blue flashing lights of police cars, and the bright spotlights of cameras. It's impossible to count the number of news vans that are there, or the number of reporters. It's ironic that the chaos is out there, when the focus of this outbreak is here in the ER, yet it's quiet and desolate, abandoned by anyone who comes across it.  
  
I glance once again into trauma one, and begin to contemplate the events of today. My first impression being that hell has finally descended on earth.  
  
Well guys that's part 9 for you. I hope u enjoyed it. I'm kinda experimenting at the mo by writing accounts of the events from different peoples points of view, so I hope u like it. The next part will be here soon and will either be from Kerry's or Susan's point of view. Thanx for all those reviews, just keep 'em comin!!  
  
Rainbow345uk 


	10. Heartbreaking

Heartbreaking  
  
Part - 10  
  
  
  
  
  
Susan  
  
The journey upstairs to the quarantine ward seems endless. With every step that I take, it seems as though I'm making no progress to reaching my destination. Maybe it's because I'm not walking at my usual pace, I don't seem to have enough energy, but that's what comes with exhaustion. The long journey allows me to reflect on the past 24 hours, summing up what I have lost and what I'm losing, and think about what the next 24 may bring. If they are anything like the one's that I have just experienced, then may god help us all. I'm not a religious person, I never allowed myself to believe in something that was based on a book of stories from thousands of years ago, but today, for the first time I found myself in the hospital chapel praying. It was the only place where I could go to escape all the chaos that was going on around the hospital, especially in the ER. With carter being the first victim after the John Doe, I couldn't stand being in the ER. I could have been out there helping, but instead I turned my back on them. I suppose that was because there was something inside me telling me that what was going on wasn't true, that maybe it was just a nightmare and I would wake up any minute. I suppose that's why I walked out of the ER and to the chapel, so that I didn't have to face the truth nor admit it.  
  
I stayed in the chapel for as long as I could, every time someone entered I would hide myself in the shadows, telling myself that if I could believe that I wasn't there then none of this would really be happening. Rumors had begun to bounce of the hospital walls, and soon they slowly filtered to me. I learned that several of them were in fact false, much to my relief, as one of them was that Mark had become the next fallen colleague. I suppose you could call me a coward, for not going out and dealing with the situation as everyone else was doing, but I guess I'm not as strong as everyone had believed me to be. The rumors, however, finally pushed me out into the open, giving me no choice but to confront my fears of reality. When I heard that Randi had died, I had to go and see for myself, so that not only would I confront my fears but believe in them too.  
  
I had stayed in the chapel for nearly an hour. I suddenly realized the seriousness of the situation, as the atmosphere changed from the tranquility of the chapel to desperation, sadness and a higher degree of fear. Put the two together and the contrast was evident.  
  
As soon as I arrived in the ER, I saw the HAZMAT guys carrying a body away from trauma one. I looked around and met Mark's eyes. They said it all, as they confirmed that Randi was dead. He filled me in on the present situation, and it wasn't good. He told me about Kerry and Abby, and with that I couldn't help but feel guilt, as they had risked their lives to save Carter's and at least try and help save Randi's, and I wasn't there, instead I was a coward, and decided to hide away.  
  
With the ER shut down, I tried to make myself useful. I went up to the quarantine ward, to find out what the conditions of Carter and Malucci's were. Malucci was critical and Carter was stable. He had finally regained consciousness, and although the virus was still attacking his internal organs, it was at a much slower rate and the drugs had started to attack the cells of the virus. At last, someone's prognosis was looking good, and that filled me with relief. I talked to him briefly before making my way back down to the ER. As I reached the bottom of the stairs I was greeted by Mark. He gave me his instructions, and I followed them, oblivious to what the reason behind them was. I went and collected the protective gear that HAZMAT had left us, and when I returned, I realized the full extent of what was happening. Kerry had rushed straight into trauma one, fully exposed to the virus. Mark had managed to hold Luka back, telling him to wait outside. He grabbed a gown, some gloves and a mask from me and headed in after Kerry, I closely followed. Kerry refused to leave, despite protests from both me and Mark.  
  
As soon as I entered, I saw the heaped body on the floor. I thought she was dead, and literally she was. As soon as we hooked her up to all the monitors, it was clear that she was. The machines registered no heartbeat, and she wasn't breathing either. And there was no telling how long she had been there either. With all the factors taken into consideration the outlook was bleak. I know that the doctor in me had already decided that it wasn't worth the effort to revive her, it had already decided that she was dead. But somehow, the emotion inside me, the real me had managed to switch off the autopilot, and keep battling. I wasn't ready to fully admit anything yet, and there was no way that I was going to let a friend die without even helping one bit.  
  
Time had slowed until it was at a virtual stop as we continued to fight a losing battle. No matter what we tried, the monitors still rang out with their deathly tune, haunting us all. At one point, I moved my stare from my befallen colleague to another stood outside: Luka. That look alone gave me all the strength that I needed to continue fighting, and make sure that I kept my hopes high. That look made the full horror of the situation finally kick in. People were dying, patients, friends, colleagues, it didn't matter. They say that being a doctor would make you hardened to death. In a way that's true, because if you think about it, the people around you who die are patients, they are not directly linked to you, so the effects that you feel after they die are never as severe as those felt when it's someone close. Today the feelings are mixed. Anyone could be a victim. In one day alone, all your friends could die, leaving you with nothing. That punishment, to me, is just as severe as death itself.  
  
After battling for an hour, the heart monitor finally began singing it's song of life, and the relief slowly circulated around the room. Although she's still at deaths door, she hasn't yet entered it. That itself, gives us all the reassurance we need, for now. We just hope she holds on.  
  
I finally reach the top of the stairs and make my way towards the quarantine wards. I grab a mask, and make my entrance through the automatic doors. I glance to my right and see Jing-mei stood by Malucci's bed. His condition is no better. Then I look to my right and see Carter. I head towards him. He must have noticed the sad expression on my face, as he takes the words right from me. "It's bad news, isn't it?" I try so desperately hard to make the situation sound better than it really is. He and Abby had become a lot closer than they had let on in the past few weeks. They thought that they could disguise it from everyone, I suppose that was because of the past, because of me and Luka. There's a lot of history to deal with. Carter should have known better, I know him inside out. He and Abby are great together, they're right for each other, I hold nothing against them. Carter and me are old friends, we go back too far to have taken our relationship to the next level. What we have is a great friendship. And that's what's making it so difficult to tell him about Abby. If he was just a patient, then there would be no links, but because he and Abby are my friends, it crushes me to tell him the truth. Not just because I will once again have to admit to myself that this is all real, but because I will have to admit to myself that Abby is dying and I will have to deal with Carter and his breaking heart as well as my own.  
  
I look up and make eye contact before, at last, I allow my self to tell him. "Abby's in a critical condition" I pause to allow my words to sink in. Carter looks away for a moment in sadness, before bringing his attention back to me. "What happened?" The words quietly escape his mouth. The grief that I see in his eyes is conveyed in my voice as I reply with the answers. "Mark found her collapsed in trauma one. She was down for an hour, but we managed to get her back. She's dependent on a ventilator, and her condition is continuing to deteriorate." I pause briefly, I didn't know how much detail he wanted me to go into, but still I continued, "Her vital organs are shutting down," I sit on the end of the bed, and take his hand in an effort to show him my support. He looks up at me, "How long does she have?" The question is shattering. It's one that I don't want to answer, but I know that I have to for his sake. "She might not make it through the night" Those words are equally shattering, but I knew that I had to reply. I look into his eyes and can see his heart breaking. It's like looking into the mirror, because inside me, my heart too, is breaking.  
  
Well guys that's part 10 hope ya liked it! Part 11 will be here soon and from Kerry's point of view. Please keep those reviews comin, it's the highlight of my day! (Yeah I no I need to get out more, but hey!) Hmm, really I'm not that sad! Well until next time . . adios!  
  
Rainbow345uk 


	11. They Say Time's A Healer

They say time's a healer  
  
Part - 11  
  
  
  
Kerry  
  
The events of today are hard to contemplate. For a brief moment I would allow myself to drift away into a daydream where they were never true. But then every time I look in front of me, at the lonely and lost soul that's desperately clinging to life, with the help of many machines that I am so used to being around, the realization of what's happened, what I have contributed to, allows the guilt to resurface. When I look in front of me, I can't help but allow the memories of Valentines Day flow freely to the front of my mind, except the tragedy unfolding now is down to me. It's my fault that she is lying there, unable to sustain life on her own. It should be me laying there, not her. But somehow, fate has taken a cruel twist, and no matter how many times I have come in contact with this virus, I have somehow escaped its jaws and it has denied me the same destiny. For that I am greatful, but the burden of guilt weighs down on me, making it's presence unmistakable. If only I could turn the clock back 24 hours, then I could change everything.  
  
It wasn't right for me to have asked, to have told her to help with Randi. We should have waited for HAZMAT, we should have followed protocol. I made the decision for her, I denied her the choice. I never listened to her protests, that we might have been in the clear, instead I just ignored her, forcing her into something that is now claiming her life. I look past all the tubes and other various bits of equipment, until my gaze rests upon the heart monitor. Although its tune still displays a heartbeat, the gap in between each of those beats grows as time goes on. This can only mean one thing: that her heart is slowing down, that it is gradually giving up. Death is no doubtedly lurking behind the next corner. That thought crushes me, as it leads me to many unanswered questions. What if we had found her sooner? Would her condition be a better one than the one we are faced with? If only I had kept watch. I should have seen this coming. I knew that she was infected; I was told for god sake, yet I still turned my back, I never once went to check on her.  
  
The consequences of my actions, or rather the absence of them, are now clear. Not only did I contribute to this tragedy unfolding, I did nothing to prevent it. It's my fault that she's dying. No matter how much I try to evade the guilt, it is always there. It's like a huge storm cloud engulfing me, no matter where I run, I cannot escape.  
  
Despite all the protests that I received from Mark and Susan, there was no way that I was going to leave trauma one. It seems to be the center of this nightmare, the one place that decides the fate of those who have ventured inside. The first victim died in this room, it is the origin of the virus in this hospital. I have escaped the fate that everyone else has befallen to, escaped the clutches of the silent enemy. If there are any more victims to claim, I must be one of them, and I'm not about to go running. I'm too tired to run. Too guilty to run. I turned my back once on Abby, I'm not about to do it again.  
  
I glance up at the clock, the hands display 2:07am. It's been just under 2 hours since Mark found Abby, just under an hour since we got her back. But in that hour, her condition has deteriorated so much. If it continues to, at the rate she is now, then there's no question about her survival: to put it bluntly, she won't make it. And I have to put it bluntly, because other wise I just won't admit it to myself, instead I would just try to evade it, like I've been trying to evade the guilt.  
  
I close my eyes, wishing it all away, like I have done many times today. No matter how hard I wish, it just doesn't happen. I've never been one to believe in miracles, but right now, I'm praying for one. But time is running out, the clock is ticking, and I'm the one who set the pendulum swinging.  
  
I open my eyes to find everything as it was before. I'm still faced with the same heartrending situation. I peer down and take her hand in mine. The coldness of death all too noticeable. I look up to the heart monitor, just to make sure she's still there, still alive. The jagged line passing across the screen is a relief. And for the first time I finally allow the raging emotions inside me to surface. Fear, sadness, guilt and anger, all rolled into one. And for the first time, I release the tears that have made my eyelids heavy. I silently hope for life to be restored, while silently begging for forgiveness.  
  
A knock on the glass shatters the atmosphere. I look out to see Dr. Johnson in his HAZMAT gear. I know all too well why he is there. Third time lucky I hope. But then I can't really distinguish between what's better. Dying and being free from this hell, or living with the guilt and sadness that's taking over. Only time will tell, but not with just my fate, but Abby's too. They say time's a healer, but how deep do the wounds have to be before it's too late?  
  
Sorry it's late again guys, but my internet provider disconnected me for ages!!! Well hope u enjoyed this part feedback very welcome. Part 12 is here too, Happy Reading.  
  
Rainbow345uk 


	12. How Many Friends Can You Lose In One Day...

How Many Friends Can You Lose In One Day Part - 12  
  
Kerry watches as the door opens and Dr. Johnson makes his entrance. She returns her gaze to Abby. Dr. Johnson prepares the syringe in his hand, and calmly makes conversation. "We have to get you tested again" His voice is filled with disappointment and concern. She was a doctor, she should have known better than to expose herself to the virus again. Kerry acknowledged his presence and the frustration in his voice, but she didn't let it bite at her. It was her decision to make and she made it. She turned to face him. "You haven't made any progress have you?" Johnson tried to ignore the question, but he could feel Kerry's persistent gaze upon him. He paused for a moment before giving her an answer. "The lab in New York are working on it, and we've sent a team to South Africa to track the John Doe's last known movements, but other than that, no, we haven't made any real progress" "So those infected are already condemned to death" Kerry replied. It was more of a statement than a question, and this was recognised with silence. Johnson fiddled with the syringe in his hand before preparing Kerry's arm and piercing the skin. The vial quickly filled with dark red blood. Kerry turned once again toward Johnson. "How many victims are there?" "So far, 115 cases, including 36 dead." Johnson looked towards Abby, "What's her condition?" Kerry paused. The question had caught her off guard. She had expected Mark or Susan to have filled him in on the present situation. "She might not make it through the night" Johnson detected the sadness in her voice, and to that there was only one phrase he had to reply with, "I'm sorry" Kerry looked toward him, "So am I"  
  
Susan walked over to the admin desk, having just returned from the quarantine ward. Telling Carter the bad news had taken all the energy out of her. It was the one thing that she hadn't wanted t do, but she felt like she had a duty towards him, like it was her job. She sat down in chairs, exhausted. Mark appeared from behind the desk and went to sit next to her. "How did Carter take it?" "Not good, but that was to be expected. What's her condition?" "Worse. Her body's giving up, she might not make it through the rest of the night" There was a brief moment of silence as Susan took in the information. She gazed towards Trauma one. "What about Kerry?" "They're testing her again" "It's not looking good all round" "No" Mark's simple reply said it all. Everywhere you looked, people were dying, and there was nothing that they could do, despite their medical training. That was one of the hardest things that they had to face. Susan maintained her gaze on the doors to Trauma one, while still contemplating the fact of losing more friends and colleagues. Tears began to weld in her eyes, as she closed them, trying to escape. She gently whispered, "How many friends can you lose in one day?"  
  
Well that was part 11 and 12. I promise that part 13 will be here a lot sooner that these!! Just watch this space!! Rainbow345uk 


	13. Breaking Promises

Breaking Promises  
  
Part - 13  
  
  
  
Carter  
  
I thought that I could protect her, protect her from all the heartache and evil in the world, but I guess I was wrong. Things were just starting to go right. Both for me and for her. I had finally managed to conquer the nightmares, the many flashbacks and the pain that was thrust at me on that Valentines Day. But I didn't do it alone. Abby was there with me, without her, I would still be trapped, trapped in the never-ending cycle of horror. She helped me break free, she's the reason I broke free. She has given me a new lease of life, and she's part of it. But now I'm faced with the possibility of living the rest of my life without her. I can't think about that, I just can't imagine life without her. She is my life.  
  
Things had just started going right for her too. Maggie went back home a few months ago, and despite Abby's concerns, I think that she's really trying. She's stayed on her meds and even got a part- time job. The pay isn't brilliant, but that's not the point. The point is that she's trying to stay on top of things. And then there's her drinking. I somehow managed to convince her to go to an AA meeting, and she hasn't looked back since. Every time she has the urge to drink she comes to me. I guess she finally realized that the world isn't always a bad place, and that the answer to her problems isn't at the bottom of a bottle. It was hard to convince her that, especially after Brian. And that was another problem that we conquered. She tried to mask her fear, make out that she was alright. But her drinking gave it all away. After 5 years of being sober, there had to be something that had caused her to start drinking heavily. I guess that drinking was her way of dealing with the attack, dealing with the realization that she wasn't invincible. I suppose that it was her way of trying to hide the vulnerability that she didn't want to admit, to herself or anyone else. But like I said we managed to overcome that. It was a struggle, but we did it, and now life was finally starting to go our way, well at least 24 hours ago it was.  
  
I thought that I could protect her from all the evil in the world. After Brian attacked her, I made her a promise. A promise that I wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. And up until now, I had kept that promise. But I was only looking at one type of evil, the ones that humans inflicted on the world. I never, for one moment, thought that something like this would happen, where it would not be a human to take her life, but a silent, natural evil that could not be protected against or overcome.  
  
I look around me only to see people in the same situation, where they too are losing a loved one, or have already suffered a loss. I have already been told about the death of Randi, and how close I came to it. But that hasn't, well not for the moment at least changed my outlook on life. I don't have the energy to think about any of that. All I can think about is Abby, and how I am going to spend the rest of my life without her. It is inevitable, or so I am told. And no matter how much I try to fight of these thoughts, try to convince myself that everything is going to be alright, I know I am wrong. I am a Doctor, and I know the facts.  
  
I knew from the moment that Susan entered the ward that something had happened. The expression on her face said it all. I could feel the knot in my stomach tighten. I knew something bad had happened, I just didn't realize how bad. Her words were like a knife slicing through me. It took a moment for the horror of what was happening to register. As soon as it did, I could feel part of me start to fade away. I could see the pain taking its toll on Susan too. I could see her eyelids struggle to stay open with the heavy weight of tears baring down on them, yet even though we've been friends for years, she held them back. But I suppose I did the same. It was only when she left the room that I allowed the emotion to surface.  
  
I can't believe this is happening. After all we have been through, after all the battles that we fought to win. We worked hard to get to where we were today, and now it's being taken away. I can't bare the thought of not being with her. I've finally found the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with, and she's being taken away from me.  
  
They won't let me go and see her, they say it's too much of a risk. I don't care about risks right now, all I care about is Abby. She's dying, and they won't even let me spend the last few hours with her. For god sake, it might not even be hours. She could be dead already, and I wouldn't know about it. I let a tear escape from my heavy eyelids, and feel the stinging trail that it leaves as slides down my face. The stinging is a painful reminder that it isn't a nightmare. Abby really is dying. And I'm not with her. She's dying just the way she lived: alone. That was another promise that I made her, and another that I am breaking. I promised that I wouldn't let her die alone, but I am powerless to keep that promise. If I go out there, then I risk infecting more people, more friends. Oh God what do I do? I silently pray, desperate for an answer. I can't let her die alone. I can't break that promise, I won't break that promise.  
  
Well there ya go that's part 13 over. Part 14 will be here in a while ( I chose my words carefully then!!!) Still haven't got my IP sorted yet, but it will be done soon!! Just watch this space!!! (again) Thanx for reading  
  
Rainbow345uk 


	14. Praying For A Miracle

Praying For A Miracle Part ~ 14  
  
The chaos outside was unmistakable. It was impossible to count the number of cameras. The event had already been broadcast across the whole nation. Special news reports had interrupted nearly every programme, and as time slowly went on, the news of the outbreak reached further and further around the world. But that news was just a brief outline, it didn't detail the full horror, it didn't give the full story of sadness, grief, anger, fear and death. The reporters were more interested in finding out how this virus had got into the hospital and how it could be treated, and rightly so, but they failed to notice the emotional torment that it had brought with it. On almost every channel, there was a medical expert giving their opinion on the events. But that didn't matter, because no matter how many different Doctors or experts were asked, there would never be an answer.  
  
A number of hospital staff had gathered back in chairs. They somehow felt compelled to stay, even though they had been given the all clear. Someone had switched on the TV, why, no one really knew. They didn't need to see the events splashed all across the news, but nevertheless, they remained seated, fixated with the screen. Susan was among that small group. She had been given the all clear, but she couldn't leave. This was the place that had, that was, claiming the lives of those she cared about. She had been a coward earlier in the day, hiding in the chapel. But right now, she had faced up to her fear, her guilt and her sadness. She wasn't about to turn her back again. She glared up to the TV screen and listened to the words coming from it.  
  
"So far the information that we have gathered tells us that this outbreak, centred here at the Cook County General hospital in Chicago, first started when a John Doe was rushed to the hospital after being involved in a car accident. He died an hour later. However a few hours later, it was reported that a Doctor, who had treated the John Doe, collapsed, suffering the effects of the virus. Since then 113 more cases have been reported, contained to this area of Chicago, 36 of those resulting in fatalities. And fears are growing, that without a vaccine or cure currently available, this outbreak may spread further afield." The reporter was stood in front of the police barricade outside the hospital. The camera had been strategically placed, making sure that the entrance was in the shot. And there was no way that it could be missed. A decontamination unit had been set up, the bold, black letters of CDC stood out against the stark bright yellow of the tarpaulin. The surrounding buildings were draped in the colours of the flashing lights from the police cars and ambulances. The scene looked like one that had been carefully rehearsed, like one from a Hollywood movie. But this was no fictional tale created by the imagination of a filmmaker, whose sole aim would be to create a thriller, and a happy ending. A hero that would save the day. This was real and there wasn't a hero in sight.  
  
Susan glanced towards trauma one. Kerry was still inside, and Mark was standing by the doors. She peeled herself away from the TV and slowly walked over to Mark. A few silent minutes went by. Susan maintained her gaze inside. "How long do you think?" The question was one that she didn't want an answer to, but she needed to know. She could have worked it out for herself, but she just needed someone else to reinforce it, and that was what Mark did. "Not long" A short, but painful answer. He knew that it would be within the next few hours, but he couldn't bring himself to say it aloud. He couldn't put a time on someone's life, especially when it was a friend's, a colleague's, a member of your team. By putting a time on someone's life it seemed too final, too certain that she was going to die. His answer left an element of uncertainty, it left room for a miracle. And that was what everyone was praying for, a miracle.  
  
Sorry Guys for the delay, I no its been like 3 months but been soo busy lately! Thanx for hanging in there tho and thanx for all da reviews it's greatly appreciated! So keep 'em coming! I hope to start writin part 15 next weekend so hopefully I'll have it finished and posted by next week. : ) Rainbow345uk 


	15. Conflicting Emotions

Conflicting Emotions Part - 15  
  
Susan  
  
I'm finding it hard to distinguish between my emotions. Everything feels so surreal, and I wish to god that it were. Even though I've been confined to this place for, I steal a quick glance at my watch, it's not even been a whole 24 hours yet, I'm still finding it difficult to even begin to contemplate what's happening. But as I glance into the room, and see Abby, I can't help but feel lucky. And that makes me feel selfish, it makes me hate myself. How can I even start to think about myself when all this is happening? Abby's dying, along with Carter's heart and Kerry's spirit. Nothing is ever going to be the same again.  
  
I can't watch this happen, I can't stand here and watch a friend die, I just can't. I slowly retreat away from trauma one. I told myself that I wasn't going to turn my back on my friends again, like I did when I hid in the chapel, and I'm not going to, or I at least hope I'm not, but I just can't watch this happen. I have no idea where I'm going, I just need to get away. The roof seems like a good idea, it's the one place where I feel I could escape. Perhaps the conflicting emotions would push me over the edge, perhaps then I would finally be free, free from death, heartbreak and the torture that comes with living, with surviving this nightmare. But is that the way that I really want to die? No, of course it isn't, and I know that I am stronger than I think. I'm no good to anyone dead. And besides that the roof is cordoned off, so even if I did want to commit suicide, I couldn't.  
  
I head towards the stairs. I have finally decided what I am going to do. I'm heading towards the quarantine ward, deciding that there is one last thing that I can do. You hear stories about how people wake from a coma after their loved ones gently plead with them to wake up, and that's why I'm getting Carter. I know that it's a long shot, but I just can't stand by and do nothing. But even if it doesn't work, at least Carter will be by her side. The thought of losing a friend fills me with sadness, and thought that I can't do anything to prevent it, fills me with anger. But I put those thoughts to the side, as I near the top of the stairs. I'm trying the last thing I can think of, and I hope to god that it works.  
  
That's part 15 for u! hope u liked it, part 16 is here to, not sure when 17 will be posted, but it is under construction! Thanx for all the reviews, keep reading! : ) Rainbow345uk 


	16. Keeping a Promise

Keeping a Promise  
  
Part - 16  
  
  
  
Carter  
  
As soon as Susan entered the room, I knew that there was little hope left. She told me of Abby's condition, and that there wasn't anything left to try. Well almost. She thought that if I was with her, if I talked to her, it might make a difference, it might in someway help her. All I could do was hope that it would. I can't bare thinking of living my life without her. It has to work, there's no way that I can go on if it doesn't.  
  
I have no idea how Susan managed to get me down here. I had asked, begged the Doctor upstairs to let me, but I was denied every time, told that I was too much of a risk. I will forever be in Susan's debt.  
  
I look up at the clock, it's almost 3 in the morning. I shift my gaze to the heart monitor, the jagged line slowly passing across the screen a welcome sign, although the constant slow thumps that echo around the room are something that I would rather not hear. I know deep down that the inevitable is going to happen, that the jagged line will soon become level, and that the constant beats will merged into one long monotonous hum. One that will pierce my heart.  
  
I take her hand in mine, and whisper to her how much I love her. I want her to know that I am here, I want her to know that I'm not letting her die alone, that I'm not going to break another promise. I turn my head and look towards Kerry. I see the tears escape from her eyes, as they roll down her cheeks. She makes no effort to conceal her grief. I tell from the immense sadness in her eyes that she still blames herself. But there is nothing that I can do, nothing that I can say, that will change that. I don't think that there is anything that anyone can do or say that will change that. That guilt will be with her forever.  
  
I fix my stare once again on Abby, my Abby. It's hard to recognise her through all the tubes and equipment. The only recognisable signs being her soft, brown hair and of course her unmistakable blue scrubs. I rest my head on her chest, allowing it to rise and fall with each of her breaths. And that's when I finally give in to my anguish, allowing the tears that have been building up to feely escape. I close my eyes, and silently pray.  
  
Rainbow345uk : ) 


	17. A River of Tears

A River of Tears Part - 17  
  
Dr. Johnson made his way through the ER, heading directly for Trauma one, just like he had so many times since he arrived in Chicago. And this would be the third time that he had returned with the results for Kerry. But the small folder that he held in his hand contained more than just a set of results, it contained a verdict, and a sentence. Someone above them was judging them. Those with too many sins were given the ultimate punishment, but then so were the innocent. The punishments were different, one being death, the other heartbreak, but it was near impossible to distinguish between which was the most severe. At least in death you could escape, but those left behind, those who would survive, would have to face the torment that each day would bring with it.  
  
Susan was stood outside trauma one, still hanging onto the hope that Carter's presence would somehow make a difference to Abby's condition. She looked through the glass and at the clock on the wall. The second hand was going slower than ever, and each minute felt like an hour, each hour like an eternity. She closed her eyes in an attempt to hold back the tears, but to no avail. The heavy weight, too much for her tired eyes.  
  
Elizabeth had come down from upstairs, and she and Mark sat silently in chairs. He didn't need to tell her what Abby's condition was, or that of Malucci and the others. The atmosphere said it all. Mark looked up towards trauma one, not even wanting to imagine what Carter was going through. He took Elizabeth's hand in his, and gripped it as tightly as he could. It was a thought that was returned, as Elizabeth squeezed back, neither of them willing to let go.  
  
Kerry remained by Abby's side. Even when Carter arrived, she didn't leave. She couldn't. The guilt had binded her there, not allowing her to escape. She looked up at the clock, and then towards the heart monitor. The story it told: a tragedy.  
  
That same story was being told upstairs. Chen, like Kerry, had remained at Malucci's side. As much as he could be a pratt sometimes, he was still a friend. And just because his condition wasn't as worse as Abby's, it didn't make it any easier. The pain, the heartache, it was all there. The fear, the anger, the anguish, where ever you were, who ever it was, it was there, and there was nothing that you could do about it, except to give in. Chen glanced around the quarantine ward. The sight was one that she wished was a hallucination. And then she brought her gaze back to the body in front of her. She took his hand, and allowed the tears to flow.  
  
Sorry it's short! The next part will hopefully be a little longer, I've got some ideas for it, but I can't make up my mind whether to kill Abby or not, wat do u guys think? Part 18 here soon, Rainbow345uk : ) 


	18. Losing A Friend

Losing a friend Part 18  
  
Susan watched as Dr. Johnson entered trauma one, and then swiftly emerge with Kerry. This could mean only one thing, but she didn't want to jump to any conclusions. She turned to face them. "What's wrong?" Fist she looked at Kerry then Dr. Johnson. "We've found something, we're not entirely sure how it can help us, but we've sent some stuff off to the lab in New York" "Found what?" "There's a link between blood group and severity of the virus. Those with blood group A and AB are in a worse condition than those with blood type O or B. The virus attacks the A antigens and attaches itself to the red blood cells in their place. And then they're carried around the body and affect other organs. The virus is less effective in destroying the B antigens or attaching to the surface of O type blood cells" "That's good news, right?" There was a hint of uncertainty in Susan's voice, as much as she tried to hide it, it was still noticeable. "It depends on the way that you look at it." "Meaning what?" "Well it's the first" There was a pause as Dr. Johnson replied. "The only lead that we have, but it doesn't look good. It's going to be hard to destroy the virus, without destroying the red blood cells. If we can isolate the protein in the B antigens, then there is a chance" "So, really, we're no nearer to helping these people yet?" There was a short pause before Dr. Johnson offered a reply. "All we can do is wait." Susan couldn't hold her anger in anymore. Her emotions had finally started to boil over, and she wasn't about to hold them back. "We've been waiting all day Dr. Johnson. We've been stuck in here for nearly 24 hours, powerless to help. Abby is in there dying," she motioned towards trauma one, "we waited for you then and look what happened. If she was up on that quarantine ward she might have had a chance" She stormed past him, heading into the lounge and slamming the door behind her.  
  
Susan's outburst had hit Kerry hard. She knew that it was the truth, but Hazmat weren't the only ones to blame. It fell back to her. If she hadn't encourage Abby into helping in the first place then she wouldn't be in this condition, and if she had just checked, for god sake she knew Abby was infected, but she didn't once check to make sure she was ok. Her relief at escaping its clutches had consumed her, and she turned her back. And now she was paying the price, and so was Abby.  
  
She stood by the door to the lounge, her hand once again on the handle. She took a deep breath, pushing her guilt to the side, and slowly turned the handle. She closed the door behind her. Susan was stood in front of the window, staring out into the chaotic outside world. Kerry stood by the door, not wanting to intrude. The situation took her back several hours, to the moment when she admitted her guilt to Luka. But this was now, this was the present. Susan continued to stare out of the window, not acknowledging Kerry's presence. She didn't want to be there, but then no one did. "Look, Susan" She paused, closing her eyes for a brief moment, "I'm sorry" There, she said it. Susan turned to face her, "Sorry for what?" Susan's reply surprised her. "I'm sorry because all this is my fault, I forced Abby to help" "This isn't your fault Kerry. Abby did what she always did, put others before herself" A few second passed before she realised what she had done, hoping to god that Kerry hadn't noticed, but she did. "Abby's not dead, Susan" "But time's running out" Kerry knew that she was right, that it wouldn't be long. She pushed aside her emotions and tried her best to comfort Susan. "Don't lose hope, because once that's gone, then so is everything else" "I'm not losing my hope Kerry, I'm losing my friend"  
  
Well that's part 18! The usual apologies, sorry it's short and sorry it's been so long! Just had loadsa stuff to do, but thanx for hanging in there, and thanx for all da reviews! Ur stars! Part 19 will definitely be here sooner, just watch this space! Rainbow345uk, ; ) 


	19. There's No Holding Back Time

There's No Holding Back Time Part 19  
  
The chaos outside had begun to slow down. No one could decide whether that was a good thing or not. The fact that there was chaos outside meant that the situation was being noticed, that people were paying attention to what was going on. But now that it was quieter, it felt like they had been deserted. But then again it was just as quiet in there as it was out there.  
  
Mark and Elizabeth remained seated in chairs, still not willing to leave each other, or the ER. They had the choice whether or not to leave, as they were in the clear, but they chose not to. They had been through too much in this day not to find out what the big finale would be. That would be like watching a TV series for years, and then when it comes to the very last episode you miss it. They needed some kind of closure to the whole situation, so that they could deal with it fully. They needed to know whether Abby would make it, or whether the nightmare would just get worse and she wouldn't survive. But then it already had. Chen had started showing signs of the virus, and based on the information that Dr. Johnson had delivered a few hours ago, the outlook wasn't looking good. Although she's still conscious, and still responsive, there's no holding back time, and there's no telling what exactly it will bring with it.  
  
Sorry it's incredibly short, but I hope to have part 20 up very soon! Please keep reviews coming, I love knowing what u think!! Rainbow345uk 


	20. Saying Goodbye

Saying Goodbye  
  
Part 20  
Susan  
  
I'm still sat in the lounge, haven't moved since Kerry came and went. It sounds selfish, but I'm too exhausted to move. I tried to get some sleep, I knew that it was impossible, but I thought that if I went to sleep I could escape, and that when I would wake up, everything would be OK. But no matter how hard I tried, my mind wouldn't let me rest.  
  
I take a long hard glance at the clock on the wall. It's ten to seven. Morning has finally come, and daylight is beginning to filter through the window. It's a welcome sight. The darkness only made it worse, made it feel like there was no hope, that we were bound to this place forever.  
  
I muster all the energy that I have left, and manage to pull myself away from the sofa, and over to the door. I have no idea what's about to confront me. I've been in here all night. Mark had come in around 5am, and told me about Chen. None of us thought it could get any worse, but we've been proven wrong.  
  
I didn't have enough emotional strength to go and see her. I knew that she was still conscious, but I just couldn't see her, not with knowing what would happen, and knowing that I couldn't help her. Maybe that was why I hid in the chapel, because I couldn't force my self to deal with a situation that I would have no baring over.  
  
I have no idea of Abby's condition, I can only hope that no news is good news. But then no news could mean that she didn't make it. Everyone could be so caught up in their grief, that no one told me. I twist the handle and silently pray that everything is OK. I walk out into the ER, and see that Mark and Elizabeth are still sat in chairs. Beyond them is trauma one. I head towards Mark.  
  
"How is she?" I try to hide the fear from my voice, try to hide the fact that I'm scared. I don't know why, because I know that everyone else feels the same.  
  
"She's still hanging on, but it's not going to be long" He pauses for a brief moment. I don't even know why I asked, I didn't need him to tell me, but nevertheless I did. He continues, "You should probably say your goodbyes now, me and Elizabeth did a few minutes ago"  
  
That was something that I didn't expect. I was finding it hard to take in and just stood there for a few long moments, ones that I will never forget. I move my stare to the doors of trauma one. Saying goodbye would be so final. In a way it would be us giving in, losing all hope. I had told many people before about saying goodbye, and I never really understood how hard it was. But now it was me on the other end, and it was something that I would have to do. I didn't want to, because I didn't want to admit that this was it, this was how it was going to end, but I knew that I had to, I knew that I would regret it if I didn't. And I needed her to know, I needed her to know that it was OK to leave, and that she wasn't alone.  
  
I slowly made my entrance into trauma one, silently letting the doors close behind me. I didn't want to disturb the peace, disturb the atmosphere. Carter was still at her side, still clutching her hand. He looked up to acknowledge my presence, and for a split second we made eye contact. I could see all the sadness, the fear and the loss in his eyes. He knew why I was there, and I knew that he too didn't want to admit it, but he did. And this was recognised as he got up and headed to the door, obviously to give me some time to say my goodbye. Before he made it to the door, I grab his hand. He stopped, and looked towards me. I saw a lone tear escape from his tired eyes. I pulled him into an embrace, hugging him tightly. It was a simple action, but it comforted us both. He pulled away, and left the room. I returned my gaze to the lonely body lying in front of me. I still couldn't believe that beneath all the tubes and equipment was my friend. I moved to be by her side, and gently took her hand. I didn't know what to say, instead I just let the tears flow, until finally, I said my goodbye.  
  
Kerry  
  
I tried to comfort Susan the best I could, but I guess it just wasn't enough. I had managed to push my guilt to the side when I went into the lounge, but I left with it firmly reinstated above my head.  
  
I tried to keep my hope alive, but Susan's words hit me hard. I could hear her voice echoing around in my head over and over. I couldn't get rid of it, and my guilt started to eat me once again. I left the lounge and headed into one of the suture rooms. I didn't even bother to switch on the light, I didn't see much point to it. Darkness had already descended over the hospital, and there was no fighting it.  
  
I found a secluded corner, and hid away for the rest of the night. At about 5am, I heard one of the doctors come down from the quarantine ward. I though it would be about Malucci, but it was Chen. I know that we don't exactly see eye to eye, but that doesn't mean that I don't care.  
  
I thought that this had gotten as bad as it could, but I was wrong. This really was hell, and there was no way out. This evil was claiming lives, and fast. Carter, Malucci, Randi, they had all fallen victim, and then there was Abby. Even she knew my guilt. And I know she blamed me, I saw it in her eyes when we were in trauma one together. If only I could turn back the clock, I could change everything, make everything better, back to how it should be. I could make it so that none of this ever happened. But that's impossible. But then who would I be doing that for? For them, or for me? It would be for me, so that I would be absolved from all the guilt. And that's what's destroying me. Instead of admitting the guilt, I try to get rid of it in any way possible. And that makes me selfish.  
  
I look down at my watch, through the haze of tears in my eyes. I wipe them away. It's five past eight in the morning. I grab my crutch, and use it to pull myself from the floor. I head to the door, about to find out how deep my guilt goes. It's going to be with me forever, but if she doesn't make it, then I don't know how I'm going to live with myself. I suppose I have to face it head on. I made a decision, the wrong decision, and now I have to live with the consequences, along with those I have forced onto everyone else.  
  
I walk out into chairs. I see Mark, the expression on his face not a good one. I feel his eyes, along with Elizabeth's, burning into me with blame. I don't know whether that's how they really feel, but that's the impression that I get and it's a pretty good assumption. The look in his eyes tells me all that I need to know. That it's not looking good. I make my way to trauma one, just as Susan is leaving. I see her red-rimmed eyes, and tear stained cheeks. I know what I have to do, and it's going to be the hardest thing that I have done. I know that I have to once again admit my guilt, but this time to Abby.  
  
I sit down by her side, and for a moment remain in silence. I bow my head to the floor, and close my eyes. I somehow find the courage, and release the burden above me. Through broken sobs, I admit it, in the only words that I have to offer, "I'm sorry"  
  
Carter  
  
I stare at the lifeless body in front of me. I would give anything to change places with her. She doesn't deserve this. But I know that it can't be done. I'd give anything, everything, just to have a few more minutes with her. Just to tell her how much I love her, how much I care. I can't hold back the tears anymore. I squeeze my eyelids shut as tight as I can, just to try and stop them from falling, but its no use. They escape and make rivers down my cheeks, stinging as they go. That's a feeling I wish wasn't there, because there's no kidding myself that this is a dream. The pain forces me to reality, and it's one that I don't like.  
  
We've been through so much together, that it doesn't seem right for it all to end now. But there's nothing that I can do, nothing that anyone could do to save her. Maybe a cure will be found, but I know that it won't be in time to save Abby. And I have to keep telling myself that.  
  
I take her hand in mine, and squeeze it as tightly as I can. I want her to know that I am there, that I have kept this promise, that I'm not letting her die alone. I rest my head upon her chest, my tears soaking through her scrubs. The heart monitor is clearly displayed in front of me, and I can now visibly see her heart slowing down, and the tone becoming merged. My hope is fading, and its being replaced by a sense of loss. I close my eyes and finally admit to myself that it's time to say goodbye.  
  
"I'm sorry" I pray to god that she can hear me, I need her to hear me, "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you" The tears continue to come, my emotions still raging inside me. "I want you to know" I pause, the torture of saying goodbye breaking my heart "That I love you, and always will" I finally let myself go, and let the emotion take over. "Wait for me in heaven" and that's my final goodbye.  
  
Well guys hope ya liked it!!! Bit of a cliff hanger there! Is Abby gone or not? Who knows!! Next part here soon, keep reading and reviewing, u guys make my day!! : ) Rainbow345uk 


	21. Waiting

Waiting  
  
Part - 21  
  
Susan  
  
I watch Carter through the glass, it's the only thing that is separating me from the even deeper anguish, the eye of the emotional twister, that wrecks the lives of everyone its path, breaking their hearts beyond repair.  
  
I look towards the heart monitor. The jagged line is slowly beginning to merge.  
  
Mark and Elizabeth join me, before making their way inside. I stand in silence for minute, trying to regain my composure, and then I follow them.  
  
I stand to the side of the bed, I don't want to intrude on Carter. I still can't believe that the person below me is my friend. It was something that I never really contemplated. I never once thought, that when I became a doctor, I would ever see a friend in this way. There's nothing that can prepare you for it. Nothing. You just have to deal with it, and that isn't easy.  
  
I gently take her hand in mine and give a caring squeeze, reinforcing the reassurance that I gave her earlier, that it is ok to leave. That wasn't easy, but I knew it was the right thing to do.  
  
Mark and Elizabeth are stood at the end bed, clinging onto each other for emotional support.  
  
The atmosphere could be cut deep with a knife. Emotions are running high, but none of us express our grief, or at least we try not to. I don't know why, because we're all feeling the same, we're all losing someone, and we're all losing a part of ourselves. I suppose it's to show that we still hold hope. Hope for what? I ask myself. There's no way that this is going to be a happy ending. We know that she's gone, but we wait for confirmation from the so many machines that we have come to depend on. Machines that can tell the difference between life and death. Machines that are no longer successful in fulfilling their duties.  
  
I shift my gaze to Carter. He is sat on the other side of the bed, tightly gripping Abby's hand. I could tell that he was torn. Torn between letting her go, and wanting her to hold on. But then this wasn't about what he wanted, or what any of us wanted. It was about fate. And that was something that wasn't on our side.  
  
Something caught my attention by the door, and I immediately looked up to find Kerry stood outside. I could see the torment in her eyes. This was another life, another heart that had been pulled into the twister. I gave her a slight nod, to assure her that it was ok to come in. And with that she did.  
  
We all stood gathered around in silence, accept for the slow beeps of the monitor, waiting. Waiting for the inevitable. I let the tears flow, not caring about the stinging canals that they are forming down my cheeks. I close my eyes and wish myself away from this horror, away from this hell.  
  
Sorry its been so long again! I started writing this at the beginning of last month but my Nan's ill and in hospital so I've been up in Bristol the past few weekends, plus I got my exams comin up. But I have got some ideas for part 22, and I'll try and get it up as soon as possible. Thanx for all the reviews, and 4 ur patience! U guys are Gr8! Adios Rainbow345uk 


	22. Relighting Hope

Relighting Hope  
  
Part - 22  
  
The doors to trauma one came crashing open, the silence that had fallen upon it, harshly disturb. Each one of the souls bound behind those doors, were forced away from each of their little worlds, that they had embedded themselves in. They all immediately glared up, to see what was going on. It was Dr. Johnson.  
  
"Try this" He said, handing Susan a vial. "What is it?" "We sent samples of Dr. Weaver's blood to the lab in New York. It seemed that she was some how resistant to the virus. When we introduced the virus, it was destroyed. There seemed to be a specialised protein code that triggered the production of specific antibodies, which combined with the pathogen and rendered it harmless. We managed to isolate the proteins and artificially replicate them, which is what you are holding Dr. Lewis" "How do you know that it works in others?" Susan questioned. "We don't. We haven't had time to test it" There was a brief pause, before Carter looked up. "What difference does it make, Susan?" He didn't give her time to reply, "She's already dying, there's nothing to lose" "He's right" Elizabeth cut in, "This is her only chance" Susan knew they were right, but she just found it hard to believe that this could bring Abby back. Deep down she had already concluded the nightmare, and had brought herself to believe in it. She prepared the syringe, and inserted it into the cannula. The foundering hope that they all believed in was once again relighted. The candle continued to burn, even though the flame had started to fade.  
  
2 days later Mark The hospital was still closed, and the media frenzy continued outside. Abby had been moved up to intensive care, Carter hadn't once moved from her side. Susan had managed to somehow fall asleep in the lounge. I guess she couldn't stand the tiredness anymore or the waiting. Elizabeth, too, had fallen asleep, on my shoulder. We remained in chairs, along with several others. Someone had turned the TV on again. I don't why. We already knew the statistics. We were the statistics. Nevertheless, it still caught my attention, and I found myself listening to the reporter intently.  
  
"It would appear that this mystery virus, that has taken hold of Chicago for the past few days, has finally come under the control of the CDC. We can now go live, to the centre of this outbreak, the Cook county general hospital, which has been under quarantine for over 96 hours"  
  
The screen flashed to a reporter, once again standing outside the entrance.  
  
"This hospital, here in Chicago, which is at the centre of the outbreak is likely to remain under quarantine for at least another 48 hours, until all signs of the virus have been eradicated. At the moment there is a mass vaccination programme going on, which is being carried out by the National Guard. It is expected to be completed by the end of the week, as well as the decontamination programme that is going on around the city."  
  
I remove my stare from the TV and replace it on Elizabeth. I give her a loving kiss on her forehead, and realise how lucky I am to not have lost her.  
  
Finally this nightmare is coming to an end.  
  
Well that's part 22! The fastest I've ever got a part up! Part 23 here maybe next weekend, depends how it goes. Don't forget to review! I wanna know what u all think! Thanx for reading Rainbow345uk 


	23. Another Hurdle To Climb

Another Hurdle To Climb  
  
Part - 23  
  
2 days later Susan I stood outside the ICU, peering through the glass. I didn't know what to make of the situation. I desperately wanted to believe that things were getting better, but then the doctor inside me told me differently. Abby was finally stable, and that was the good news. But then she hadn't shown much signs of improvement, well not yet at least. She had just got back from surgery. The MRI scan showed that the virus had damaged the valves in her heart. Elizabeth had been monitoring her condition, and decided that surgery was needed. All we had to do now was to see if it was successful.  
  
Carter had sat with her day and night, not caring much for his own condition. But to him, that wasn't important. The only thing that was important was Abby and her survival.  
  
I watched as he stroked back a stray strand of her hair. That action, be it a simple one, conveyed much more than words. It was filled with love and care. But I could see in his eyes, that the emotions he was feeling was far from what he displayed. He put on a brave face, tried to be strong, but he couldn't mask his true feelings from me. I could see the fear and heartache being portrayed. Fear of losing the one that he loves.  
  
I enter the ICU, and walk slowly to be by his side. I place a gentle hand upon his shoulder. Just as I do Elizabeth makes her way over. I'm not sure if I want to know what it is she is about to tell us, but nevertheless, I force myself to listen.  
  
"The surgery went well, we managed to repair the damage. ." She trailed off, trying not to make it noticeable, but she failed. "But?" I raised the question before Carter had chance to. "But.." Elizabeth paused for a moment. "You both know as well as I do that she was deprived of oxygen for sometime when you found her" I saw Carter close his eyes. We were all so wrapped up in wanting her to pull through, that none of us had really considered the consequences. Elizabeth continued. "We're sending her for an MRI. We'll know in a few hours if there is any permanent brain damage."  
  
There was yet another hurdle to climb. 


	24. Letting Go

Letting Go  
  
Part - 24 Susan had remained by Carter's side for the best part of the day. Ever since Elizabeth had told them about the need for an MRI, she knew that Carter needed supporting, and now more than ever, as Elizabeth made her way once again towards them.  
  
Her face displayed a shattering expression, and although both Carter and Susan knew what she was going to say, they waited for it to be confirmed. "The MRI shows that there is limited brain function." The tears once again began welling in Carter's eyes. It was only when Elizabeth spoke again that he finally let them fall. "I think it's time that we switch off the ventilator" She was struggling with her words. "Time we let her go"  
  
I no its short, that's why I posted 2 parts at once. I hope u liked it! Almost at the end now, a few more chapters to go. Please Keep reviewing, I wanna no if n e 1 is still reading it! Watch this space! Rainbow345uk 


	25. Closure

Closure  
Part - 25  
  
One week later. The sun was shining, the heat bearing down onto the earth's surface. It was the kind of weather that put a smile on your face. But today, the expressions on the numerous faces that were gathered together, was far from that. Today they were grieving, and the world should have been grieving with them. But instead it carried on like normal. Everything around them had somehow returned to normal since the city had been declared virus free. The only mourners that joined them in their grief, were those who had also lost loved ones. But today, for them, the world had come to a stop. There was only one thing that was present on their minds, and it wasn't likely to go away in a hurry. Although the sun beat down on them, they were shielded by the black cloud of heartache that hung silently in the air.  
  
"I can't do this, I can't be here" Carter's exclamation shattered the world that Susan had buried herself in. She was trying to shield herself from the truth, and Carter knew it. She turned to face him. None of us want to be here, Carter, but we have to be strong" Her voice was gentle and comforting, and she hoped it would offer Carter some sense of reassurance, that he wasn't alone in his feelings.  
  
Susan took his hand, as they both stood in silence. The moments passed them by in an instant. She lead him up the path, and they joined the others waiting inside the church.  
  
This was the third time that the colleagues had come together within a week. The third time that they had dressed in black, the third time that they would all share in their grief. The third time that they would commit another one of their own to the ground. Another friend sent to the next life. Another time that they were offered and accepted closure.  
  
The coffin lay at the front, white lilies draping over the side. Some of the congregation stared at the floor, not willing to show their emotions, others simply stared toward the front. They listened intently to the eulogies that were being given. Words offered no justice. Only memories could do that, and there were plenty of them.  
  
They had all made their way out to the graveside, where more floral tributes lay untouched, and glowing in the sunshine. The coffin was now resting above the grave. Waiting to be lowered. The vicar looked around, gazing at each and every mourning face. Then he began his own tribute.  
  
"We are gathered here today, not only to grieve, but to pay tribute to a young woman whose life has been tragically cut short. And although our sadness will fade, our memories will not. She may only have been on this earth for a short time, but in those precious years, she has made a difference in each and everyone of us. And as we commit her body to the ground, and set her spirit free, we make the ultimate promise not to forget." He pauses as the coffin starts to be lowered into the ground. He gathers a handful of soil in his hands, and conveys his final words. "Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust"  
  
He gently tosses the earth onto the coffin, allowing the patter to echo around as it hits the hard wooden surface. Carter follows suit, grabbing a handful. And as the individual particles of soil float through the air, he finally says goodbye, and allows himself closure. "Goodbye Jing-mei"  
  
Well guys I hope u liked the twist! I just couldn't resist leading u on! Well I hope u liked it, and don't 4get to tell me, so hit that review button! Thanx guys for all ur reviews, and thanx for sticking with it! Part 26 here soon. Rainbow345uk 


	26. Diamonds are forever, right?

Diamonds are forever, right?  
  
Part - 26  
  
I had somehow managed to slip away from the bar unnoticed, well from Susan at least. We had all taken it on ourselves to have a drink or two in memory of our fallen comrades. I looked down at my watch, it was just past ten. The setting of the sun had given way for the heavens to open and release their own emotions, their own tears.  
  
I stood, waiting patiently for a cab on the sidewalk. The wait seemed like forever, giving me plenty more time to reflect on everything, not that I hadn't already. Time was once the enemy, claiming an ounce of life for every second that ticked by. But now, now it was a healer, well that's what I was praying for anyway.  
  
The rain soaked through my suit jacket and shirt, but it made no difference to me. In fact, I welcomed the cool tingling sensation that it brought.  
  
I looked up at the sky, gazing past the glow of the city lights. There was a whole world out there, but this nightmare had decided to land here. Out of 6 billion people, it chose us. Why? I don't know, but it's the one question that I know everyone is asking, the one question I know that everyone wants the answer to. But it's something that we'll never know, something we'll be left wondering forever.  
  
I reach down into the deep, dark crevice of my suit pocket, and pull the small, square velvet box from it. I gently lift the cover, careful to shield the contents from the invasive rain. Just as a cab pulls up, its headlights bask me in a flurry of yellow light. The diamond sparkles in the dull glow. I close the lid and replace it firmly in my pocket. I just hope she holds on. I jump in the cab and head to the only place where I can bare to be. The only place I care to be. Next to the one I love. They say diamonds are forever, just like love, but what if you don't get the chance to give one?  
  
Well guys that's it! . . . . . .! I bet that scared u?! Instead of carrying this fic on im going to do a sequel set about a year in the future that will tie everything up. Do u guys think that's a good idea or not? Tell me in ur review. It will probably be titled "One year on" Original I know! Thanx 4 sticking wiv me on this one, u guys are gr8! Rainbow345uk 


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